Events to a T

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When a newly engaged couple begins to plan their wedding and looks for help in doing so, what many of them don’t know is that there is a difference between an event designer and an event planner. Yes, your designer can likely help you with some planning aspects like vendor recommendations and likewise, your planner can probably help you with some aspects of design. However, a designers job is not to plan and a planners job is not to design. Here is the breakdown so that you know what you are shopping for.

An event designer specializes in event decor, rentals, developing your theme, and making it all come together for a cohesive look. Event planners manage the logistics of your event, make sure the vendors show up on time, help you find vendors (like a designer should you need one), troubleshoot and ensure that the flow of the event is seemless. It is not unheard of to hire both a planner and a designer. As I mentioned, there are companies that can and do do both well. Just be aware of what kind of vendor you are hiring and what exactly it is you want/need from them so that you know you are getting the services you require.

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You dream of getting engaged, the dress, the gifts, the excitement, the parties, the big day. And all of that comes and is wonderful, what you don’t dream about are those little things nobody tells you about either before or after you get engaged.

1. It’s not all about YOU. Well, it is supposed to be and that is what you hear all the time once you get engaged. Nobody ever says, it is all about you, and your guests who are traveling to witness this beautiful occasion and your mom’s dreams for you and your friend’s feelings about not being engaged yet and your brother’s family not being able to travel and on and on and on. Unfortunately, you quickly learn the reality of engagement is that it is all about everyone, or so everyone thinks anyway and as the bride, it is your job to do your best by your guests, family and friends. My suggestion: Remember it is about your love, and not about anything else!

2. You can’t please everyone. Once the bride has figured out number 1 she is stressed out about meeting all of her loved ones needs. Which is so so nice of her. Except that you cannot please everyone and no matter how hard you try to make sure everyone likes all of the food you are serving, everyone can afford to travel to your location, everyone ‘s kids are taken care of, nobody is left out or offended and everyone has a great time, someone will complain about something. My suggestion: Make sure you have a planner there to hear their complaint instead of you and just do your best by your guests and don’t knock yourself out trying to please everyone. It is YOUR day!

3. What you used to think was a ton of money, suddenly won’t buy you anything. Couples go into wedding planning thinking that X thousand dollars is a ton of money and that they cannot believe they are going to fork that much over to have their dream day. About 3 venue searches later they figure out that that amount will feed your guests and get you a space, but that you won’t have any tables, chairs, linen, flowers, etc. Sticker shock is a harsh reality. My suggestion: Make a budget first, then instead of increasing it as you find what you want, make everything fit into that budget. That may mean cutting your guest list or not having your dream venue.  A wedding can be done on most budgets, as long as brides are willing to be flexible.

4. It could rain/snow/be a heat wave. We all want to assure the bride that it is going to be a beautiful day. Nobody wants to hear that it could be bad weather and hardly any bride wants to plan for it, but you have to have a plan B.  And the plan B is rarely close to ideal or half as beautiful as plan A. My suggestion: Make sure to find out the plan B option at your venue and choose a venue where you can at least live with plan B, you do not want to spend the entire planning process stressed over having to use an option you hate.

5. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Yes, this is the most important day of your life thus far, yes you want everything to be perfect and anyone can understand that. But you don’t want to be the bride or groom who is worrying about the details all throughout the ceremony and reception. By the time your day rolls around, you should be able to relax, know it is all taken care of and if it isn’t, at the end of the day you will still be married, your guests will be fed and you can enjoy yourselves no matter what. Maybe you forgot to bring your napkins to the venue or someone who rsvp’ed didn’t show up, that stinks, but don’t let it ruin your day, actually, don’t even give it a second thought, it isn’t worth your energy at this point. My suggestion: At the very least have a day of person/planner/coordinator who can make sure everything goes smoothly so that you can let it all go and enjoy your day.

My goal here is not to burst anyone’s bubble, only to prepare you so that you aren’t disappointed when the wedding planning process you’ve been dreaming of your entire life isn’t exactly like you dreamed it might be. It will likely end up very different, but can still be just as amazing as you had always hoped!